32-ish week update, with pictures!

32 weeks is 8 months pregnant. That's big. So's my belleh.

We (Bugbear? Bugbear and I? I? Subjectivity is such a pain to determine. And I am still a dork.) had an ultrasound on Friday to make sure there was no growth restriction due to the two vessel cord. Thankfully, everything looked good! We'll get more details at our next meeting with the midwives, but I believe this means we're back to being a normal-ish pregnancy, with no more extra monitoring or check-ins. Yay!

We also got some detailed, determined, medically exact news. Bugbear probably weighs 4 pounds, 9 oz right now. Give or take 11 oz. Which means s/he weighs somewhere between under 4 pounds and over 5 pounds. Go go Gadget Math Skillz.

Michael also took pictures with his phone, because that's his thing.

 (Bugbear)

(Belleh)

(Krista and Bugbear)

 (Michael and Bugbear)

The horribly blurry quality of the last one is my fault, since I'm the one who took it. It was seriously cute in person.

At this point, Bugbear looks something like a creepy Skeletor and an amorphous blob. S/he is big enough that s/he's kinda squished, and his/her face and limbs and body are all there, but difficult to see or do much with because of size. So you're not missing much when you can't tell what the photo strips are actually showing. But they'll still go in his/her memory book. Once we take them off the fridge.

61 Days Away...

That's right, 61 days until Bugbear's due date.

And s/he gets his/her first case of the hiccups.

Am I jinxing myself to at least 61 sleepless nights of my belly pulsing if I say it was kind of cute?

A Letter to Bugbear

Dearest Wee One,

When I spend time stretching my ribcage, trying to increase the room around my lungs and lung capacity, it is not so that you can squish up there and hang out while continuing to restrict my breathing. I really like you and all, but I also really like oxygen. And since you still need me for oxygen, it would be better for us both if you let me breathe.

Now scoot down. Bonus points if you scoot down and stay off my bladder.

Love,
Your Host

31 weeks, with pictures!

How pregnant are you?  I'm this pregnant:

 

I'm pregnant enough that when I look down, I see this:

I'm so pregnant that this:

counts as dressed and ready to go for the day (and no, that's not my skateboard).

But on the upside, I've finally gotten used to it. Just in time to be pregnant for not much longer. But I'm going with "better late than never" on this one.

And yes, to answer the question I've gotten many many times since March, I am still wearing heels. With no plans to stop. Rumor has it that they're impractical for things like avoiding spit-up and chasing toddlers, so I have to get them in while I can. That, and I don't own any flat shoes that aren't unattractive and used only for exercise.

Relate this pregnancy to objects we tend to eat or other everyday things.  Bugbear is probably 3.5-4 pounds this week. The best description I've read of this is "like four large navel oranges," which isn't very good at all, in my opinion. But kind of like 16", apparently not many things are 3.5-4 pounds, and I'm really not comfortable taking a picture of the 3.5 pounds of ground turkey in my fridge and saying "s/he weighs as much as this."

Tell me some random stuff about the Bugbear.  This is a fun and interesting week for development! In addition to continuing to add fat and build muscle, all that brain business last week means that this week, all five senses are fully functioning and responsive. Bugbear's digestive system and other major systems are fully formed and mature enough to be useful if s/he were born now; only his/her little lungs still need a few more weeks to be really ready to go. In spite of the fact that I am seriously feeling the invasion of my lung space, Bugbear's space is getting cramped too. S/he is probably fully curled into fetal position just due to space limitations, though I am also certain that s/he can stretch out in all four directions at once when s/he really wants to do so, as evidenced by my getting kicked/punched in the ribs and iliac crest at the same moment).

Tell me how you feel physically.  Strange. Huge (seriously, how have I gained 19 pounds since February?). Amazed and a little impressed that I can want sleep so badly, get so little, and somehow not be exhausted. Some days every millimeter of me aches, and some days I feel great, and sometimes it's somewhere between those two. Nothing new or remarkable.

What are you craving? Zucchini bread. Still. Apparently there's been some great unadvertised zucchini blight and you can't find good sized zucchini anywhere. And even when you find little ones, they get moldy and unusable two days after buying them. It's sad.

Are you crazy emotional?  I'm more overwhelmed than weepy. I started school this week, and while classes are going to be great, there's something very weird about knowing that I won't make it through the term and be able to attend all of them.  I also have craploads of paperwork due for various things, and I haven't yet found a paper day planner that I can use to keep my brain straight. And while I love my iPhone, there just isn't enough space on that calendar, or the google calendar, to really get my head tethered to my shoulders. Oh, yeah, plus hormones...just getting through everything that I know will be due, and the events that are coming up, can be a challenge.

Anything else? I gave in and started putting ice packs on my ribs when Bugbear is just plain obnoxious in his/her playing in and on them. There's xylophone playing, and then there's Michael being able to put his hand on my ribcage and feel Bugbear moving them around, and when it's the second sort, it's time for him/her to get out of there. Fortunately, it works. And since I've recently discovered what people meant when they said that pregnant women are always hot, I don't have the ice, either.

The dance parties are more intense and longer, too. S/he went for a good hour last night. It turned into one of those strangely cliched moments where I just sat and watched my stomach roll and rock and burble and was amazed at all that's going on in there, and the sweet strangeness of feeling something while seeing it from a very different perspective. That we're only doing this once compounds that strangeness and sweetness and emotional stew, I think. This is the only time I'll be this pregnant. But this is also the only time in my life I'll be feeling these things. And while I could certainly do without the painful aspects of his/her parties, there's also something bittersweet about trying in vain to sear these things into my memory, knowing that I'll never have back these moments. I know that's true for all of life, but it's been very interesting to work through it specifically in relation to carrying this thing that will become our baby. 

60 consecutive minutes of sleep...

HEAVEN. Absolute freaking heaven. I'd go so far as to say "Seventh Heaven," but that's just all sorts of bad tv associations.

I really never thought that anything I could mention on a public blog could top dark chocolate and orange gelato in southern Italy in July.

And then, last night, I slept. And while I'd still love some good gelato (and wouldn't mind temperatures above 80 again!), waking up and realizing that I'd slept for a full hour and wasn't in pain was one of the most fabulous moments I can remember.

AND there was ice water by my bed, like I knew I'd be thirsty and planned ahead. Totally a slice of heaven.

Of course, it took propping myself up with pillows from my favorite chair (yes, I am a 70 year old man at heart), chamomile/passionflower/valerian tea, lavender oil, and probably a whole lot of good luck, but I don't care. It was glorious. And the chair is just fine without one of its pillows, which is good, because I'm not giving it back.

30 Weeks?!

How pregnant are you?  75% done-ish pregnant. If Bugbear were a grade, s/he'd be a very solid C. I'm pregnant enough that when I had orientation last week and my first class this week, people didn't ask "are you pregnant?" but rather "how far along are you?" or "when are you due?" or "How are you still wearing heels?" That's pretty darn pregnant.

Relate this pregnancy to objects we tend to eat or other everyday things. Bugbear is roughly the same size this week as s/he was last week--awkward, and without any good comparison.  All his/her energy (and apparently, all my calories) have been going toward brain development, as the wrinkles on the brain's surface increase and more myelin is built up to help speed connections.

Tell me some random stuff about the Bugbear.  S/he is losing most of his/her lanugo hair this week, since the fat that s/he's putting on takes over the job of regulating temperature while inside. There are probably still patches on his/her back and forehead, so it's not all gone, but more is gone than present. Once outside, it will be difficult for him/her to regulate his/her body temperature again, which is why skin to skin contact and babywearing are two things we're looking forward to doing.

The other interesting thing that happened this week is that

Tell me how you feel physically. Kinda like death. The hip pain is really, really bad at night, so I'm not sleeping for crap. On Saturday, I slept for six hours straight after driving three hours, working for ten hours, then driving another three hours. It was GLORIOUS. Now I'm feeling lucky if I get two hour stretches instead of 30 minute stretches. I'm looking forward to binding belts and getting things squished back to where they should be. Not only do I miss my clothes, but I miss the ability to sleep, even if I won't be expecting much consistent sleep.

What are you craving? Zucchini bread. Mom's recipe, no nuts, fresh from the oven with salted butter melting on the top of it, burn the roof of your mouth and your tongue just a little bit, zucchini bread. Fortunately, Michael is headed to a farmer's market today, so I'm hoping all my craving dreams will be coming true on Friday morning.

Are you crazy emotional? Nope. I'm again seeming to be on a more even keel. It's work, and it's hard work, but it is nice. And since I'm not sleeping, it's hard work that I know I need to keep up so that I don't wind up a miserable holy terror for the next 8-12 weeks.

Anything else? I've started singing to Bugbear when s/he gets all kicky and worked up, as his/her little kicks/punches/headbutts/WhoKnowsWhats can be knock-me-off-a-chair painful at times. It's usually the rib ones that hurt most. But sometimes, I can't help but picture a fetus dressed up as a melodrama villain plotting to see what will hurt out of sheer boredom. On the upside, singing and rubbing the little extremities seems to work. On the downside, it's making me realize just how much resonance without pitch control my swollen sinuses have given me.  S/he doesn't seem to mind, though, and I'm not quite ready to start putting ice packs on my ribs to make him/her move, so this seems good for now.

29 Weeks is a LONG time.

29 weeks is 203 days.
Or 4,872 hours.
Or 292,320 minutes.
Or a whole bunch of seconds.

And I'm 29 weeks pregnant today.

Bugbear has only existed in some form for 27 of them, of course, but I'm not going to re-do that math. It's still a long time.

How pregnant are you?  Way pregnant. Pregnant enough to really, really miss my cheekbones. I'd post a picture, but that would just be depressing.

Relate this pregnancy to objects we tend to eat or other everyday things.  Grab a yard stick. Find the 16" mark. Imagine that as a fetus. That's pretty much as close as I can get to an everyday object that's roughly Bugbear's size (probably 15-17") right now. There just aren't many foods that are 16" long. And comparing him/her to the size of our dog

just seems odd. Bugbear is getting very close to his/her length (height?) at birth, and once s/he hits that, developmental energy will go to packing on the pounds in fat and muscle. The average 29 week old fetus is around three pounds (roughly the weight of a three-pound free weight), so we can expect Bugbear's weight to fall somewhere between double and triple that when s/he is born.

Tell me some random stuff about the Bugbear.  I can't find much to say! It's like all the websites and books that I regularly consult have run out of trivia and interesting ways to describe what's happening right now. Things seem to boil down to "baby is still kinda hairy, covered in vernix, and growing. Baby is gaining weight, is moving a lot, you're gaining weight, if you went into labor right now baby would probably survive with some NICU time, and here is a laundry list of scary conditions that are highly unlikely, but we need to fill up space. The end." 

Tell me how you feel physically. It depends on the day. I'm tense, and stressed, and that's showing up in my shoulders. Some days it hurts to work out, some days it hurts to not work out. Sometimes I'm killer death thirsty and hungry, sometimes I'm so tired of constantly eating and drinking that I think I'd rather pass out than have to keep doing both all the time. Sometimes I'm so happy that I can eat whatever I want that I just smile while scrounging for snacks.

I'm unable to sleep through the night. I'm up at least once, usually twice, sometimes three times, to pee, and it's become impossible for me to roll over without waking up and flipping myself over with concerted effort. Fortunately, I'm able to stretch those times across an eight or nine hour stretch, so it isn't bad. But especially after three consecutive nights of dozing in two-hour blocks, I fantasize about going to sleep and then waking up and having it be morning.

Bugbear has also decided that the lung xylophone is great fun. It isn't. S/he is pretty cooperative about moving out of the way when I'm focusing on breathing exercises, though, which gives me at least a few minutes a day where I can catch my breath.

What are you craving? Nothing, really. If it sounds or tastes good, then I eat it. If it doesn't, then I don't. I've now gained 18 pounds over the course of this pregnancy, so it seems like that sort of intuitive eating is working well for me.

Are you crazy emotional? Thankfully, not this week. I've taken the time to do a good deal of writing and exploring what I'm thinking and feeling, and it seems like those things have helped me to focus my thoughts and really figure out what's bothering me and how I need to go about adjusting that. It's not easy, but it's necessary, and I do appreciate that I'm less likely to burst into tears at random moments or require all my concentration and energy to avoid yelling.

Anything else? I've taken the time to make the first of the baby gear I'll be sewing for Bugbear (and for the record, finding a way to use a rotary cutter with a giant belleh is extremely difficult)--a blanket, and some teeny sleep sacks that are too cute for words. Once I get pictures taken, I'll be excited to share those!