I was in Chicago, visiting my new school for next year, on Tuesday and Wednesday, and so I am late with this. I have learned the hard way that the "wake up at 4, get on the road, go at full speed all day, and then go to sleep around 11" schedule that I used to pull off with little effort is no longer possible. Tuesday was much more of a "wake up at 5, drag my butt out of bed, get on a plane, work very hard at not vomiting, work very hard at not passing out, have some fabulous interactions with fabulous people, eat some food, pass out at 8:30 and wish I'd gone to sleep at 7" sort of schedule.
I still haven't completely caught up. I feel like first tri has just smacked me upside the head and I'm getting 9 weeks worth of tired all at once. I have a retreat this weekend, though, so hopefully I'll get some solid rest in then.
And without further ado, this week's check in:
How pregnant are you? 11 weeks, 1 day.
Relate this pregnancy to objects we tend to eat. Bugbear is roughly the size of a fig this week, just over 1.5" crown to rump. If you don't eat fresh figs, pull out your credit card and imagine a body that's roughly the size of the short size from crown to rump, with legs and arms curled in front.
Tell me some random stuff about the Bugbear. This week, Bugbear's kidneys start secreting urine into the amniotic fluid that surrounds him/her. It's not much now, but 25 weeks from now, s/he will be contributing about a liter of urine (that gets flushed away as the amniotic fluid replaces itself) to his/her little ecosystem. Bugbear's eyes have colored irises now, ossification centers are established in the skull and bones, and s/he is a little less alien-like, with more upright posture and a head that's not quite so disproportionately large. His/her skin is thicker and less transparent than it has been, and a vagina or penis is developing.
This week, Bugbear will start to develop an olfactory system, and grow his/her thyroid, pancreas, gall bladder, and palate, and start to develop tooth buds. Busy little thing!
Tell me how you feel physically. Tired. Very, very tired. No vomit (knock wood), no nausea, no dizziness. It's enough to make me wonder whether something has gone wrong, but from all accounts, this is also the point in pregnancy where many women begin to feel human again, so I'm hoping that's just what I'm experiencing.
What are you craving? A nap. Maybe a loaded baked potato. Perhaps a smore, or a salt lick. Nothing particular, really.
Are you crazy emotional? I haven't had any crying jags or yelling sprees. I'm craving some time by myself, but that's normal for me. It makes me wonder how I'll handle being unable to get away from Bugbear once s/he starts moving and kicking me, but for now I'm just going to enjoy stealing the sunny spot from Yoda and laying on the floor.
Tell me how you feel otherwise. Very happy that I've taught my last college classes (for a good long while at least!). I still have grading and paperwork to wrap up, but I so look forward to this major shift in my life.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Catching Up!
I have a distinct potbelly. It's very good that I'm done teaching this week, because I can no longer pass this off as dissertation weight gain.
In the midst of a ridiculously crazy week, I haven't had time to update, but I want to start keeping a weekly check-in for myself and the Bugbear. If we're going to look back at this and remember, I want to have stuff to remember. Since we switch weeks on Wednesday, I'll aim for Wednesdays from here out, but in the meantime, here's what's happening.
How pregnant are you? 10 weeks and 3 days.
Relate this pregnancy to objects we tend to eat. My ute is roughly the size of a grapefruit, and Bugbear is the size of a kumquat (just over an inch from crown to rump).
Tell me some random stuff about the Bugbear. S/he has minute fingernails, toenails, and hair follicles, and teeny limbs are able to bend. Eyelids have met, closed, and fused shut. The creepy dinosaur tail is completely gone, and the spinal cord is visible through the skin. Bugbear is still more eerie looking than cute, with way wideset eyes, low but fully formed ears, a bulging forehead, and a head that's roughly 1/2 his/her total size right now (so if Bugbear is 2" long, 1" of that is head and 1" is body).
Tell me how you feel physically. I feel good. I feel like I have this bizarrely out of shape gut pinned on my stomach, while the rest of me feels pretty much unchanged. Thankfully, I'm having very little nausea or dizziness any longer, touch wood still no morning (or afternoon or evening) sickness, and when I do verge on icky, a bite of candied ginger solves everything.
My migraines are still an issue. Before I was pregnant, if I wasn't on preventative medication, I'd have 15-20 a month, but medication knocked that down to 2-3 a month. I can't take my preventative meds or the drugs I used to take when I did get them, so there were some excruciatingly painful days for a while. Fortunately, I'm down to about one a week, and I can take codeine for the pain. It knocks me out completely, so it's not perfect, but it is livable.
What are you craving? If I crave anything, it's salt. Sometimes lunch is carrots and crackers and hummus and brie. I'm eating more frequently, and find I'm still drinking lots more milk than usual, but I still don't have any one (or three) things that I just neeeeeeed. I do need more meat, and that sucks, but I'm getting accustomed to it, and look forward to this being a short-term change instead of a lifelong one. I do love that food just tastes so good. It's the upside to SuperNose.
Are you crazy emotional? I have my moments! I do anyway, but these are markedly more intense and ridiculous. I cry while reading books about giving birth. That kind of makes sense. It sounds like it might suck a bit. I cry at Brawny commercials, because I think that something so wasteful doesn't deserve to use the song "Lean on Me."
I also had a day where I cried at ice cream, phone calls, a card, the thought of taking a taxi, grading, the idea of hamburger, the dog whining, mold on a two week old roll I didn't know I'd forgotten to throw away, my yoga pants not fitting, my last two classes teaching college, an incompetent customer service person, the movie Pulp Fiction because I was so happy Uma Thurman wasn't dead, the introductory music to a yoga dvd, cheese, and carrots. Then I called my mom and cried about insurance, being so far away from my mom, and getting tears on my phone. Fortunately, that was only one day, and it hasn't happened again like that since.
Tell me how you feel otherwise. I'm adjusting. I am constantly weirded out by the fact that there's a little thing growing inside me that's going to be a person in 30 weeks. I'm trying to relish the next 8-10 weeks, when I'm not feeling it kick and move, because I think that's going to be very, very weird and unsettling. I look forward to being well adjusted to this and happy about it, but right now I'm just plain freaked out that there's a 1.25" thing in there, growing and sharing my nutrients and body. It's just weird.
I feel horribly guilty about feeling this way. When so many people wish they could be pregnant, how is it that I'm in this position and so ambivalent about it? Not that I'm under the delusion that life is fair, but this just seems particularly unfair to the many people I know who aren't pregnant.
I do look forward to telling everyone else in a few weeks. It's been so difficult to keep this a secret, especially when we know so many people will be happy for us. But I just want to be sure that we're really ready to have everyone know, and waiting until we're out of the first trimester just makes the most sense. I know that nothing is guaranteed, and we have a lifetime of new concerns and worries, but this is one we can deal with now by not making it completely public. The rest of the challenges, we'll take as they come.
In the midst of a ridiculously crazy week, I haven't had time to update, but I want to start keeping a weekly check-in for myself and the Bugbear. If we're going to look back at this and remember, I want to have stuff to remember. Since we switch weeks on Wednesday, I'll aim for Wednesdays from here out, but in the meantime, here's what's happening.
How pregnant are you? 10 weeks and 3 days.
Relate this pregnancy to objects we tend to eat. My ute is roughly the size of a grapefruit, and Bugbear is the size of a kumquat (just over an inch from crown to rump).
Tell me some random stuff about the Bugbear. S/he has minute fingernails, toenails, and hair follicles, and teeny limbs are able to bend. Eyelids have met, closed, and fused shut. The creepy dinosaur tail is completely gone, and the spinal cord is visible through the skin. Bugbear is still more eerie looking than cute, with way wideset eyes, low but fully formed ears, a bulging forehead, and a head that's roughly 1/2 his/her total size right now (so if Bugbear is 2" long, 1" of that is head and 1" is body).
Tell me how you feel physically. I feel good. I feel like I have this bizarrely out of shape gut pinned on my stomach, while the rest of me feels pretty much unchanged. Thankfully, I'm having very little nausea or dizziness any longer, touch wood still no morning (or afternoon or evening) sickness, and when I do verge on icky, a bite of candied ginger solves everything.
My migraines are still an issue. Before I was pregnant, if I wasn't on preventative medication, I'd have 15-20 a month, but medication knocked that down to 2-3 a month. I can't take my preventative meds or the drugs I used to take when I did get them, so there were some excruciatingly painful days for a while. Fortunately, I'm down to about one a week, and I can take codeine for the pain. It knocks me out completely, so it's not perfect, but it is livable.
What are you craving? If I crave anything, it's salt. Sometimes lunch is carrots and crackers and hummus and brie. I'm eating more frequently, and find I'm still drinking lots more milk than usual, but I still don't have any one (or three) things that I just neeeeeeed. I do need more meat, and that sucks, but I'm getting accustomed to it, and look forward to this being a short-term change instead of a lifelong one. I do love that food just tastes so good. It's the upside to SuperNose.
Are you crazy emotional? I have my moments! I do anyway, but these are markedly more intense and ridiculous. I cry while reading books about giving birth. That kind of makes sense. It sounds like it might suck a bit. I cry at Brawny commercials, because I think that something so wasteful doesn't deserve to use the song "Lean on Me."
I also had a day where I cried at ice cream, phone calls, a card, the thought of taking a taxi, grading, the idea of hamburger, the dog whining, mold on a two week old roll I didn't know I'd forgotten to throw away, my yoga pants not fitting, my last two classes teaching college, an incompetent customer service person, the movie Pulp Fiction because I was so happy Uma Thurman wasn't dead, the introductory music to a yoga dvd, cheese, and carrots. Then I called my mom and cried about insurance, being so far away from my mom, and getting tears on my phone. Fortunately, that was only one day, and it hasn't happened again like that since.
Tell me how you feel otherwise. I'm adjusting. I am constantly weirded out by the fact that there's a little thing growing inside me that's going to be a person in 30 weeks. I'm trying to relish the next 8-10 weeks, when I'm not feeling it kick and move, because I think that's going to be very, very weird and unsettling. I look forward to being well adjusted to this and happy about it, but right now I'm just plain freaked out that there's a 1.25" thing in there, growing and sharing my nutrients and body. It's just weird.
I feel horribly guilty about feeling this way. When so many people wish they could be pregnant, how is it that I'm in this position and so ambivalent about it? Not that I'm under the delusion that life is fair, but this just seems particularly unfair to the many people I know who aren't pregnant.
I do look forward to telling everyone else in a few weeks. It's been so difficult to keep this a secret, especially when we know so many people will be happy for us. But I just want to be sure that we're really ready to have everyone know, and waiting until we're out of the first trimester just makes the most sense. I know that nothing is guaranteed, and we have a lifetime of new concerns and worries, but this is one we can deal with now by not making it completely public. The rest of the challenges, we'll take as they come.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Inaugural post from the old man
Good day, readers and blog visitors.I am the father-t0-be of this, as we are calling it/he/she/them, BugBear.
<-- there you are
This is an exciting and tumultuous time for us on a number of levels. In no particular order, here is what's going on:
1. We will be moving from State College, PA to Chicagoland, IL on account of Krista's vocation toward ordained ministry, beginning with M.Div. studies at Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary
2. I will be transitioning from a rather cush job at Penn State to a not-so-cush job or jobs in the Chicagoland area. There are plenty of job applications still out there in "Search Committee Review"-land.
3. Not to mention this young life that will soon join us. This is both awesome and terrifying. One of my areas of scholarly interest is engaging philosophical accounts of ethical responsibility, and engaging with past thinkers who've taken up this matter of concern. My oh my, the enormous gap between the life of the mind and the life of action asserts itself here and now.... It's one thing to offer descriptions of the human as an ethically-responsive being, and actually becoming an ethically-responsive human being is something else entirely. Hopefully the wisdom of Soren Kierkegaard, Emmanuel Levinas, Frantz Fanon, and Enrique Dussel will offer some encouragement down the line...but I'm not banking on that.
In light of these revolutionary times, we (or at least I) take comfort in the reality that humans have been successfully reproducing our species for quite some time now, and we are extremely fortunate to have such a loving support network that includes family, friends, colleagues, and others who wish us well. And that Krista and I have each other to rely on for practical assistance, encouragement, back-rubs, laughter, and love.
We don't know BugBear's sex, size, shape, or health-status, but I know this: you, my friend, will be welcomed into a world of hugs, jokes, crazy aunts and uncles (and grandparents), and a mom and dad who are figuring this thing out called family life.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
"Spoiled" already.
Krista has been itching to buy Bugbear a stuffed animal since she peed on a stick.
After a trip to the Philadelphia Zoo on Friday, the itch has been scratched.
Our first frivolous and totally unnecessary baby purchase: a stuffed ... something. Otter? Meerkat? Whatever it is, it's soft, adorable, and cuter than the hats, bibs, and way-too-big t-shirts that we looked at in the gift shop.
We're zoo junkies. We were members in Columbus, and had a membership to the Indianapolis Zoo when we lived an hour away. Obviously, not all zoos are created equal, and I'm really bothered by the sort that are small cages for miserable poo-throwing monkeys or undersized pens without anything even vaguely resembling an healthy habitat. But there's something fabulous about wandering around and being near solid, sustained, and ethical conservation and education efforts, and I love being able to be a part of that. My mom took me to the zoo often when I was young, and I hope we get to do the same sort of thing with Bugbear.
We got some pictures that I love, as well.
A drinking giraffe:
The happy couple and a warthog statue:
Krista, Bugbear, and the new toy:
The "bump" is not Bugbear, but bloat. 4.5" of bloat, to be exact. Bugbear is currently the length of a quarter, but somehow that's translated to about a pound of weight gain, and none of my pants fitting. Bodies are strange things, and growing a little person is a strange adventure as well.
After a trip to the Philadelphia Zoo on Friday, the itch has been scratched.
Our first frivolous and totally unnecessary baby purchase: a stuffed ... something. Otter? Meerkat? Whatever it is, it's soft, adorable, and cuter than the hats, bibs, and way-too-big t-shirts that we looked at in the gift shop.
We're zoo junkies. We were members in Columbus, and had a membership to the Indianapolis Zoo when we lived an hour away. Obviously, not all zoos are created equal, and I'm really bothered by the sort that are small cages for miserable poo-throwing monkeys or undersized pens without anything even vaguely resembling an healthy habitat. But there's something fabulous about wandering around and being near solid, sustained, and ethical conservation and education efforts, and I love being able to be a part of that. My mom took me to the zoo often when I was young, and I hope we get to do the same sort of thing with Bugbear.
We got some pictures that I love, as well.
A drinking giraffe:
The happy couple and a warthog statue:
Krista, Bugbear, and the new toy:
The "bump" is not Bugbear, but bloat. 4.5" of bloat, to be exact. Bugbear is currently the length of a quarter, but somehow that's translated to about a pound of weight gain, and none of my pants fitting. Bodies are strange things, and growing a little person is a strange adventure as well.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Well hi.
Welcome to the Bugbear blogs, where we're expecting the unexpected.
Catchy, no?
We're Krista and Michael, and are expecting our first kiddo in mid-November 2010. We want to use this space as memory banks for ourselves, and a way of keeping other up to date about our evolving lives, mostly as they relate to Bugbear, but also about the inevitable "life in general" issues that insist on coming up. We hope to have the adorable letters to the fetus, FAQ, etc, but for now, we're working on simply coming out about our new favorite surprise, and recording what we can so that we forget as little as possible.
So if you're here, you know. Thanks for loving us, supporting us, and letting us choose when to tell everyone else. We <3 you back!
Catchy, no?
We're Krista and Michael, and are expecting our first kiddo in mid-November 2010. We want to use this space as memory banks for ourselves, and a way of keeping other up to date about our evolving lives, mostly as they relate to Bugbear, but also about the inevitable "life in general" issues that insist on coming up. We hope to have the adorable letters to the fetus, FAQ, etc, but for now, we're working on simply coming out about our new favorite surprise, and recording what we can so that we forget as little as possible.
So if you're here, you know. Thanks for loving us, supporting us, and letting us choose when to tell everyone else. We <3 you back!
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